Phone-life has rewired how we find pleasure. Did you know the average person taps, swipes or clicks their phone over 2,600 times a day? Remember this: you’re a kid and you have your first keypad mobile phone. The excitement is high. You can send SMS, check in with your friends anytime and exchange music via Bluetooth (one track per phone though). Fast forward 20 years and you’re an addict, spending 2-3 hours a day scrolling, liking, commenting and playing. That’s not just habit – that’s biology hijacked by cheap dopamine.
Dopamine is a neurotransmitter, a chemical that helps send messages in the brain and nervous system to reward you for learning something new with the feeling of pleasure. Many apps exploit this by offering instant rewards—likes and notifications—that trigger dopamine release, making your brain crave more even if the information is useless. This craving for instant pleasure leads to compulsive checking and desire for more stimulation.
The outcome? Insomnia, loneliness, social connection challenges and decreased work performance.
You’re in a toxic relationship with your phone. Let’s learn how to use it more mindfully.
Red Flags In Your Phone Usage
Just like relationships, your phone can either give or take away your energy. Check if you have one of these:
- You’re constantly checking notifications. Can’t live without updates from your friends? That’s okay. But do you find yourself jealous of people you don’t even know? Luxury lives, new cars, expensive clothes— you start comparing yourself to others and don’t know who you are
- You feel anxious without your phone it’s like a dependency. You need the constant flow of quick dopamine to keep going.
- Your phone usage is harming your real life. You find yourself scrolling during conversations, meals or spending time with loved ones. You delay tasks because you’re distracted by your phone.
Unfortunately your brain doesn’t differentiate between valuable and irrelevant information. That’s why you see every new picture or video as something worth your attention.
But how do those useless apps make us addicted?
How Meaningless Apps Cause Dopamine Addiction
Social media platforms and dopamine addiction
Most social media platforms are built around two things: endless scrolling and social validation. They are designed to keep you watching ads and make money.
How do you feel when your work pals comment on your post with some flowers? A quick hit of dopamine that disappears in a couple of seconds.
Instagram is a platform for creating an ideal life. Popular people post how they exercise in the morning, have a plant-based lunch and attend a theatre show in the evening. Their life looks amazing on Instagram but here’s the thing: they might be very lonely offline.
Facebook and Instagram are part of Meta, triggering the same dopamine effects. Plus they collect your data to show you ads for things you never knew you’d find interesting. Facebook is also full of debates that keep you stuck in the comments.
Online games and dopamine addiction
Online games can help with mental relaxation and boost creativity but they also keep you dopamine-addicted through psychological and neurological triggers. Those are the unknown, in-game purchases and reward systems. Together they create unpredictable dopamine bursts with a “chasing” effect. It makes you want to go back to your game again and again.
How do you break free from your dopamine addiction?
Get More Mindful About Phone Usage: 3 Steps
Toxic relationships, including those with apps, drain your energy. But like any relationship, they get better when you work on them.
Here’s what you can do:
- Set boundaries. Make a pact with yourself: no phone after 10 PM or at a time that suits you. Instead, do something that will give you healthy dopamine: reading, a quick stretch or a chat with your friend.
- Turn off notifications. This will reduce the temptation to check your phone. You’ll find yourself spending more time offline – in real life.
- Use screen time apps and monitor your screen time for a week. If you see you spent 10 hours on Instagram, you need to make a change.
Useful Apps to Add To Your Daily Online Menu
Build your screen time around the apps that reward you but don’t harm your mental health. Move these apps to your home screen or create widgets (in your Settings) so they’re easily accessible:
- Physical health trackers
You can track everything: how much you walk, what you eat, how much water you drink, how much you sleep. This will help you see where you’re crushing it and what needs to change.
- Language learning
¿Cómo estás? Learning new languages creates new pathways in your brain, and sparks creativity. You can revisit a language you started in school or try a new one—how about that?
- Meditation
When was the last time you took 5 minutes to breathe? There are tons of meditation apps that teach acceptance and self-compassion. Try one out—your mind will thank you.
- Reading
Reading sparks creativity as it opens up your mind to new ideas, expands your imagination and gives you new perspectives. Plus you get a sense of accomplishment when you’ve finished a real book.
- Mental health assistants
These are your buddies when you’re feeling down. Yeah we all want to talk to our friends and family about our problems but when no one is available you can start a chat with an AI friend. For example Liven has Livie, a compassionate AI assistant that can help you process your thoughts and feelings and get a perspective on them. This could be the first step in re-writing your inner dialogue.
After a social media binge open the app to track your feelings and triggers. Over time you’ll start to see how your moods connect to phone use.
It’s a long game. At first you’ll miss the instant dopamine of scrolling but you can still use social media – just limit your time and pay attention to how it makes you feel. Over time you’ll have space for hobbies like walking, plant care or skincare – all activities that give you healthy dopamine.
If not for yourself do it for the kid inside you. Make them proud of you. You’re an adult now.
